The most powerful proof that God exists is in our actions and evident in the way we commune with those around us. Although a beautiful homily or conference can drive the point home or shake up the stagnancy found within, it is through our witness and testimony that we really allow Christ to speak through us and into others’ hearts.
Given my current profession, the sharing of my testimony, or personal account of how Jesus wooed me, is a frequent occurrence. Much like the newness of a particular food or enjoyable experience like riding a roller coaster, for instance, the continued reuse or ceaseless repetition, can leave us, and others, with the sense of its loss of luster. No longer did I cry at the same parts in my sharing, no longer did I feel the rush when I spoke of His mercy, and no longer did I feel the fire burn within me as I shared how Christ singled me out and claimed me as His own. What an absolute injustice to the glorification of the Lord, of the call, and of His UNFATHOMABLE mercy which pulled my miserable soul from the depths. It was in these moments of intimate and vulnerable conversation that the Lord had offered the opportunity to speak His story and glimpse into the mystery and Goodness of a relationship with Him.
In truth, our stories of conversion should NEVER lose their flavor because it is our proof of His love, the love we are so undeserving of. Last week I laid prostrate before the Lord in Adoration on the island of Cheung Chau in Hong Kong. It was completely dark in the chapel except for the light proving I wasn’t alone. My mouth was quiet as the windows poured in the sounds of crashing waves; peace rushed through me. It was in that moment that the Lord played the movie of my life and together we watched scene by scene as major events flashed across the screen of my heart. The opening scenes revealed a little girl who, for the most part, experienced the sins of others. As time continued and she aged, I watched her selfishly choosing these sins and self-inflicting many deep and painful wounds. Fast forward through college and you see the monster of suffering, on the path she chose to walk, finally catching up to her. The running away ceased, she collapsed, looking around for help, and realized for the first time in 21 years, that she was completely alone. Her eyes no longer searched the crowd but instead, looked up for His intervention. The music changed as her wounded body was lifted from the muck and placed in His arms. Now being carried, her body began to heal, her heart began to mend, and her features began to change from the inside, out. She no longer resembled the haggard young woman ravished by the pursuit of her passions. Her tattered garments were replaced with robes of peace, joy, and the knowledge of a Love lacking nothing but words to describe its unparalleled beauty. I awakened.
His mercy is without end. His mercy, offered daily, should bring us joy and a heart filled with thankfulness. Let us give glory to God each morning for His graces and for calling us from darkness. And, let us not forget to expose, in complete vulnerability, our story of salvation from lives of selfishness and misery. My past was dark but has been redeemed with Christ and now radiates with His light and beauty.
“My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need..” Diary of St Faustina 229